And Sharing Dark is Hard

And Sharing Dark is Hard

Continuation of last week’s post. 

In one of the first versions of the story I wrote about in last week’s blog, the kidnapper had an addiction to porn. This was in one of the very early stages, where the protagonist was still a Christian me who helped him change his life for the better. The only mention of his porn addiction was when he testified that he had the issue and was trying to beat it. I thought it was a great thing to overcome, but when my dad read it he asked me to change the addiction. Why? Because my little siblings would read it.

To me, it seemed quite normal that a man who was born blind and could now see (because of an experiment he was in) would become addicted to porn. He can see now, of course he’s going to dive right into that particular sin. This was my high-school self’s reasoning, and it seemed sound. But my middle and elementary school siblings would want to read it, so I had to change the addiction. I don’t even remember what I changed it to. It might have been drugs. But it’s stuck with me for a very long time that just mentioning a sin like that was frowned upon.

That little incident is the root reason why I really don’t want to publish Dark Light, one of the complete stories I have posted on the internet. The first half of the book deals with kidnapping, abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, rape, and suicide. In the second half of the book, the characters deal with the fallout of the first half, find forgiveness in Christ, and start down the road towards redemption. The entire story was supposed to be about the power of forgiveness and that even the worst of people can change for the better.

When I read it now, the first half seems too intense, like if I get it published and someone reads it, they’ll stop and think that all I write is cliche, rape-y romance stories. I wrote that part for a specific audience, and as far as I know, those closest to me are not a part of that audience. It makes me self-conscious about it because people I’m close to want to support me and read my work, but I know they won’t enjoy it or take from it what the intended audience would.

Not all of my writing has this issue. A Curious Mask has a little darkness in it, but overall it’s an innocent story line. I’ll be excited if my parents and siblings to read it one day. The one’s that do have this issue are harder for me to get out there. Maybe one day, I’ll be comfortable enough to self-publish them or something. Until then, Dark Light is available online.

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